One would hope that true love always triumphs, and a ‘happily ever after’ makes way every time two people get together … but that’s not always possible. For whatever reasons, things happen―feelings change, situations demand it, and a so on and so forth later, either one, or both the partners want to break it off. Which is where the problem arises―while falling in love seems real easy, break-ups are equally difficult. And the ease with which those innumerable letters, SMSs, chats, and messages were sent, that same ease seems to elude one at a juncture when a break up is imminent. Which then naturally leads us to the question―how. How will one break up with the significant other?
Is it Really OK to Break Up With Someone Via Text Messages?
Never use a random, insulting text message from the net to break up with your partner. If you absolutely must use this method, pen it down yourself, using sensitive language.
Love happens―love stays. Love happens―love fades.
The latest trend that seems to have gained popularity amongst youngsters around the world is break up text messages. Many people opt for this method to end a relationship. Instead of meeting your partner face to face, or having a conversation over the phone and breaking it off, people type in a message and send it forward, which does their conveying for them.
The Reasons Used
Many believe that if love can be expressed through soppy text messages, then break-up SMSs are an excellent way to split up as well. They say that since one can get the message across without having to go through a long process of explanation, it is a better deal.
Another factor in favor of break up text messages is that a break up can be successfully achieved without meeting the person face to face. This becomes especially true in cases of some men and woman who use this method as a way of ‘getting back’ at their partner, especially in cases where the partner may have cheated on them, abused them, or hurt them in more ways than one.
Other than the sentiment of ‘teaching them a lesson’ for doing wrong by them, is this method of ending a relationship via text messaging really the best way to go? Let us tackle this factor in more detail in the next section.
Are Break Up Messages an Act of Cowardice?
All reasons aside, is breaking up with someone over a text message(s) really the most ethical way of going about it? Or is it really only a way of convenience and cowardice? Many opine that it is. No matter what the problems in a relationship, and the reasons one wants to break up (barring the abuse factor), the unwritten rule states that a certain degree of respect be given for the other person’s feelings.
What must be the kind of emotions that run through a person’s mind when someone breaks up with them? One would guess shock, and probably humiliation? Let’s assume, for a minute, that there have been problems in the relationship and that a break up is imminent, yet, it will definitely be as much of a shock to have to receive a text like this.
One may also argue that breaking up via a text message is done with the intention of not insulting the other person―but what one fails to understand, or tends to conveniently side track, is the fact that breaking it off over an SMS may end up causing more harm and hurt, not to mention―humiliation and insult―instead of avoiding the unpleasantness.
Though the other person is bound to feel hurt no matter which method is used, breaking it off in person, or at least, over a phone call allows the other person a chance to get some closure. It shows him that you respect him enough to do right by him.
Sometimes, people do not find the courage to initiate the conversation and steer it towards a break up. If you have decided to use a text message, then a something on the lines of these two messages can be looked into.
“I really don’t know how to say this without hurting you, but it would be wrong not to say anything at all and pretend that everything is OK. I have been feeling like this for quite sometime now―I don’t think we should be in a relationship anymore. It seems like we have drifted apart and we don’t want the same things. The constant fights, bickering, and negativity is not something that relationships should be made of. Ignoring this and pulling on is not what love is. I cannot shake this feeling off anymore and I want for the both of us to be happy in love. Maybe we cannot be that together. And I know that settling for anything but the real thing is not what you want either.”
“I’m embarrassed and really ashamed to do this, because you’re not someone who deserves it. But I think we need to break up. Over the last few months, I’ve realized that I no longer feel like I’m in love. I wanted to be in love with you, I really did. So much so that I convinced myself that I had to be, at all costs. I know that is not fair to you. I wish I could give you a better reason, but it’s honestly the truth.”
When it comes to a break up, every case is different; and therefore, how one should, or should not break up is a decision that each person has to take on their own. It depends on a number of factors, really. Barring the times when it is done in order to teach a cheating or an abusive partner a lesson, it is opined that one should steer clear of this method.
Yet, if one has taken the decision to use a text message for breaking up with someone, then it has to be done with utmost care. The SMS language needs to be sensitive and the message should be worded carefully. Moreover, the message should be direct and clear.
Break-up SMSs may not really be the right way to go about ending a relationship, but in this tech-savvy world, trends keep changing. Breaking up via an SMS shows disrespect towards your partner, and if you really have truly loved or liked him/her at some point in your relationship, you need to respect his/her feelings and communicate your feelings personally. Part ways with mutual respect rather than creating more animosity. It will help you to move ahead on a positive note.
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