Relationship Advice for One-sided Love: It’s Wiser to Back Out

Sarah Dessen on unrequited love
So many movies, so many books, and so many examples of friends tell us that unrequited love can be heart-wrenching and agonizing. Though most movies end with happy endings, real life can be, and most of the time is, a tad different. One-sided love lives only on hope. If you love someone who doesn’t love you, here is some relationship advice for your unrequited love. Again, we cannot exclude the chances of things turning your way, but a reality check is necessary to tell you the odds. Sometimes, people fall in love with their best friends, complicating relations even more. Sometimes, they fall in love with people who are in love with someone else. All these complex emotions and relations need to be handled properly. Read through the rest of the article to understand what you need to do and what you shouldn’t.

How to Deal with One Sided Love

Get Rid of Assumptions
Assumptions form the base of an adamant one-sided love. You may not convey your actual feelings, thinking that nothing but rejection is going to come your way. The first thing you need to do is tell the other person about your feelings. If there is no reciprocation of those feelings, you need to move on. Once it is confirmed that there are no feelings from the other side, you have to accept that there is no future to the feelings you hold inside you. Don’t wait for a long time thinking that one day things might change. Yes, they ‘might’, but what if they don’t? Are you willing to take the chances? Take life as it is and don’t assume or predict.

Are You Ready to Love Unconditionally?
Though this isn’t recommended, there are people who are living happily by loving someone and not expecting any love in return. These people are unconditionally in love with someone they have always loved. They don’t wait for them; they are just happy for the person they love and move on with their life. Loving someone unconditionally means that you wish for that person to have a happy life, even if you are not in it. You accept the fact that you can’t stop loving that person but at the same time also accept that you can’t stop living. Some people even get married to someone else and start a family. Whether that is right or not, is for you to judge. It is not necessary that you have to live with someone you love as that person may not love you back. But you can continue loving that person if your expectations aren’t killing you.

Forgive and Forget
Sometimes, people know you love them and they give you ‘positive signals’ even when they don’t love you. There can be many reasons for this. They might feel that they’re being unfair or rude by putting down your feelings frequently or maybe because they don’t understand how to deal with it. Very few people will portray certain feelings to intentionally hurt someone. Instead of taking things to your heart, just forget what has happened. You can forget only when you forgive, so forgive that person you loved. There might be times when you curse yourself for reading all the signs wrongly. Maybe if you would have stopped in time, you wouldn’t have had to go through so much emotional trouble. Forgive yourself for doing this to yourself and move on. Eventually, there is nothing you cannot live through.

Get Your Life Back on Track
To consciously avoid thinking about that person, start going out with friends often. Watch movies, travel, learn a new hobby – do whatever it is that makes and keeps you happy. Keep yourself busy with things and people you like. This way, your attention will remain focused on the positive things in your life. Avoid talking about what has happened with you, while you are with friends and at home. The more you talk about it, the more importance you give it. Ignore everything that makes you think of that person. Eventually, you will get used to NOT thinking about him/her. If someone asks you out on a date, go for it. Start living and regrowing your roots in the present.

If you take this relationship advice for one-sided love in the right spirit, it can do wonders for you. Learning how to deal with unrequited love isn’t very difficult. The difficult part is in the implementation. It is not impossible to let go of someone, but it is always better to do so before you have to. Like Jack Welch said, “change before you have to.” Sometimes, people misunderstand obsession and infatuation for love. Follow the advice mentioned above to forget that person and to do so, happily!

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