Flirting is that one term which is perceived in many different ways. While to some, it is a way to court potential partners before getting into a relationship, to others it is a way to arouse sexual interest in a person; which may, or may not, lead to a future. The tips mentioned in this article are suitable for those who fall in the former category. We are here to help those, who silently admire that one special person, and really wish to be with him/her; not really knowing how to make their presence felt! This article will also be helpful to those who are new to the game of dating, and want to know the basic rules before they enter the arena. Just relax guys! Flirting is something that is as natural as any other human behavior. It is absolutely normal to be attracted towards a person, and even more natural to behave in a flirtatious manner to gain attention from that person. The only difference between good flirts and not-so-good flirts, is the fluency that lies in the process of doing so. The following tips will help you understand how the whole art of coquetry works, and how you can emerge from the shy-and-invisible admirer, to the interesting-and-fun companion.
Tips on Flirting with Guys
Alright, before we start with the basic tips for harmless flirting with guys, here’s a word of caution: “Guys tend to perceive friendly gestures as sexual advances.” Now, there may be exceptions to this rule; however, if you are not looking for a sexual fling, then you need to make sure that you don’t go overboard with the whole lot of amorous glances and advances. The key is to be calm, observe, and use the following tips just right enough, so that you stand out to be the girl who is interested, and not desperate!
The Way You Look at Him …
That’s the first thing that we tend to do before going forth, we look! At times, your look says it all …, it says if you want to do the talk, or if you want to just avoid and walk! Eye contact is very important in this case. For those who are shy, it would be spontaneous to just take your eyes off him, and look elsewhere; however, if you really want to let him know that you like him, make sure that you look at him in the most affectionate way possible, at least for 6-7 seconds. An admirer’s ‘blushing smile’ wouldn’t be a bad idea, but do it just two seconds before you break the eye contact. It will give him the indication that you are shy to approach, but you don’t mind if he approaches you.
The Way You Talk to Him …
The best tip on how to flirt, is that it all starts with a smile! That’s your first asset and therefore, you should learn to use it well. So, the moment he approaches you, make sure you give a genuine smile; the sort that tells him that you are nervous, but glad at the same time. It will just come naturally to you, so don’t try to fake it. Be confident when he strikes a conversation, which usually begins with – – Hi! Don’t let your nervousness kill the moment. Help him continue the conversation by asking him questions portraying that you are really interested to know about him. Now, it would be awkward to ask about his family in the very first conversation, so talk about something related to the place where you met. For example, if you have met in the gym, talk to him about his workouts and diet. Or, you guys can talk about your experience with the gym and the workouts. Remember, you should sound confident when you speak, guys like that! Also, make sure that you speak very softly in a low tone. That is something that really attracts them towards girls.
The Way You Keep it Going …
It is sad, but I’ve seen a lot of cases wherein the first conversation turns out to be the last! It could be the result of you not being able to create a good first impression, or, because you didn’t follow-up appropriately. Remember, you’re dealing with a guy here; so you have to keep him in the delusion that he is the one taking control; however, you have to silently persuade him to do so. How? Well, you can continue with the friendly glances and the genuine smile. If you have spoken to him before, there is no harm to be the first one to say a ‘Hi’. Another effective tip here would be to give him compliments once in a while. That’s right! Do not overload him with compliments all the time, that would be perceived as a fake gesture out of desperation. Be like the cool breeze that comes and goes. Your presence should be refreshing to him, not monotonous and predictable.
… And the Rest Includes …
Studies reveal that 55% of your first impression is based on your appearance, followed by the way you speak which consists of 38%, and the rest of the 7% is based on what you actually say. So, once that is taken care of, make sure that you continue to stay on the right track. Your body language plays an important part here. Standing or sitting with crossed arms and legs depict that you are guarding yourself and are not approachable. On the other hand, gestures like flipping your hair, tilting your head, and leaning forward while a person is talking to you, shows that you are open to the idea of being close; however, most guys take it as a sign of seduction. So, don’t go overboard! Just be genuine, friendly, calm, confident, and keep your sense of humor alive; who knows, he might ask you to be his wife!
Tips on Flirting with Girls
This can get a little tricky though … ! When it comes to flirting with a girl, they tend to get very skeptical at times, so try to be as genuine as you can in the whole process of wooing her! There are high chances that you are not the first one who is trying to get to know her better. Many guys have approached her before you; therefore, if you really want to stand out from the rest, take note of the following tips and get ready to be the knight in shining armor.
Leave the ‘Pick-Up Lines’ Aside!
Though pick-up lines are regarded as a lifeline in the game of dating, I would say, keep ’em at home! There are a number of lines she has heard before, (most of them being repeated by different guys) and you don’t want to be the next one on that list! Be refreshing for the love of God, and genuinely tell her that you are attracted to her. But before you reveal the truth, make sure she is ready to take that positively. Approach her in a way that you want to know her, and not as if you are trying to impress her using a fake conversation so that you can ultimately “spend some time” with her.
Be Genuine, Be Genuine, Be Genuine
Honestly, it’s really easy to tell if you are faking your smile, your talk, and your gesture, as well! A girl’s mind works differently than a guy. While guys are happy with anything that comes their way, a brunette or a blonde; girls are very cautious in their selection. So, if you really want to know her, you have to show her who you are. For instance, instead of starting a conversation with a pick-up line, compliment her genuinely about what attracted you towards her. (say her eyes, or her smile; don’t say her body!) Don’t tell her that she looks like your next girlfriend, tell her that she looks like a girl who can turn out to be a good friend. It’s better to start things slowly with a girl if you want to play it safe.
Make Her Smile
No, I don’t want you to dress up like a joker and do this! This works well if you possess a good sense of humor! Girls always get attracted to guys who can make them smile. In fact, everyone looks for people who can make their life a happier one, be it a girl or a guy. So brush up on your sense of humor and be sure to get the girl you want! If you think that you are too shy to do that, the good news is that some girls prefer guys who are shy as compared to the outgoing ones. They say they can be more loyal and faithful when it comes to a committed relationship! It is your shyness that will attract her towards you, but you have to keep the rhythm going. How? Genuine talks, genuine compliments, genuine concern, genuine friendship, genuine everything!
Body Language is Important
Girls always notice the body language of a guy, as it speaks for the intentions that lie beneath! So make sure your body language gives approachable and friendly flirting signs and not ‘otherwise’! Ensure you have a friendly smile, a genuine liking, and a natural nervousness when you approach a girl. It will show that you are just trying to tell her that you like her and are not just ‘wanting to get her to your bed’! Keep a little more than an arm’s distance while talking to her. If she is comfortable, let her come closer. Look into her eyes when you talk to her. Many guys blow their chances the moment they start talking while looking at a woman’s breasts. You wouldn’t want to blow your chance, would you?