She is the girl of your dreams, who makes your heart go pitter-patter every time she passes by and finally after all the waiting, you ask her out, and she says a “yes.” Hold on, don’t jump for joy just yet. This is probably the easiest part. Now starts the trials and tribulations associated with the all important “first date”. You might be shaking your head and wondering what is so difficult about it. Oh! Just about everything.
From choosing the perfect clothes to finding the most romantic location, planning a first date can be a tiring job. The safest place you say would be a fancy restaurant then. After all there is good food, wine, and music. What could possibly go wrong in such a beautiful setting?
Many first dates that revolve around food and dinner have the potential of being a complete catastrophe, and will more often plunge you into the depths of awkward silence for the rest of dinner or lead to your fuming date rushing out of the restaurant. It is true that having immense amount of yummy food can create a bonding experience that you will probably be reminiscing about how you finished that stuffed burrito in ten minutes, after a year of happiness together, but really do you want to worry about food stuck on your teeth and the bad smell emanating from your mouth. Just imagine the reaction of your poor date. Well, if you are one of those people who have planned the first date in a fancy restaurant, then watch out for some foods that are potential first-date killers.
Garlic and Onions: One Whiff is All it Takes
Huge amounts of garlic and onions in food can not only ruin the chances of kissing your date at the end of the night but will also have your date flinching every time you open your mouth. The pungent flavor of these foods turn into hydrogen sulfide (think: rotten eggs) after digestion. The horrible garlic breath and its lingering punch will ensure that you eat your dinner all alone because your date just made a hasty exit.
Spaghetti: Darn the Spaghetti Kiss
Try as you might, it is difficult to get the spaghetti kiss from the Disney movie Lady and the Tramp out of your mind. The two canine lovers slurping on a single strand of spaghetti from both sides and eating their way till their lips meet seems oh so romantic! And not to forget that last meatball which the lover nudges on to his lady love.
While the lovey-dovey picture may work for our canine friends, it’s hard to understand how spaghetti can be anything but messy and ugly on the first date. So instead of the movie scene, picture the tomato sauce from the spaghetti dish flying around everywhere and landing on your face, your expensive clothes and your date’s hair. If you take care to avoid this disaster you will anyway end up spending the entire meal twirling the spaghetti to focus on your date’s conversation anyway. Oh, did I mention that slurping is not at all romantic.
Shellfish: As Romantic as Jack the “Ripper”
Imagine trying to have a conversation with an unknown person on the first date while he or she is gleefully ripping apart the heads of lobsters and prawns. Not only is it hard to picture the person romantically (unless you are into psycho killers), but the messy business and fishy smell are a definite no-no on the first date. In fact, it is best to avoid foods that require you to use your bare hands on the first date. Stick to the fork and spoon please.
Spinach: For the “Picky Eaters”
How can an unassuming, innocent-looking spinach ruin your date? You may get the answer when you check your teeth at the end of the night. Spinach leaves stuck to your teeth will not paint a very romantic picture. Of course, picking the food in front of the opposite sex is not very enticing as well. However, if the conversation goes like “Is it still there?” and “No, it is gone” then you probably will not be having a second date anyway.
Note: This applies for salad greens, foods with lots of parsley, tender bits of meat and corn on cob as well.
Chicken Legs and Ribs: A Messy Affair
Yes, they taste delicious but can you imagine the look on your date’s face when you are eating those barbecue chicken legs like a caveman with the sauce dripping off your hands and smearing the face. Moreover, if you take the spicy version you will probably have your nose or even your hot date running too.
Note: This applies to huge hamburgers as well. Apart from the fact that you are cheap enough to take your date out for a burger, it is advisable not to horrify her by trying to put foods that do not fit into your mouth. It simply does not paint a pretty picture.
Spicy Food: Churns up a Sweat Factory
You are in the middle of a really interesting conversation and suddenly you find your date picking up a napkin to wipe his or her face every time. You then wonder when did things get too hot to handle. Well, for your date it might just have. Spicy food not only sets your tongue on fire but also makes you sweat more. Not to forget the frequent bathroom trips of course.
Beans and Eggplant: Gassy Business
Beans and eggplant lead to flatulence and your date would definitely not want to hang around with that “smell in the air.” Unless you want to invite trouble and a whole lot of gastrointestinal disorders on the first date, avoid these foods at all costs.
Tacos: Cheesy Disasters
The cheese melting off everywhere, you scooping it with the taco shells, your hands, your elbows, and even your clothes. This is how disgusting things can get if you get a drippy taco on your first date. Moreover you are so busy keeping the taco together that you have probably forgotten about your date altogether.
Oysters: Killers in a Shell
Well, they may not be actual killers but they do have the potential to be your second-date killer. Slurping the oysters is disgusting and moreover, all that juice running down the arm and staining your expensive shirt will kill any amorous intentions that your date might have towards you.
Low-fat Food: Hunger Games
You wanted to impress your date by ordering a salad or just soup as the main course. Now the rest of the meal you have to concentrate more on listening to your stomach churning in hunger rather than engaging in an interesting conversation with your date.
Foods you Cannot Pronounce: Steer Clear of the Unknown
As much as you would like to impress your date refrain from pronouncing things that you probably have never heard of. Moreover your garbled interpretation of gnocchi which you have just pronounced with the ‘G’ will probably make your date and the waiter brand you as a stupid, pot-headed idiot.
For the record, stay away from weird foreign dishes which might just turn out to be some animal’s not-so-attractive internal organs. It is also not advisable to order the same thing as your date or something from the kid’s menu like milk! It just makes you look like an unimaginative person with a brain of the size of a pea who probably still gets his shirts ironed by momma dear. Although this list rules out some of the tastier dinner options, it is best to not look like a blithering idiot on your first date and ensure that you get a second date.
