Flirting — the capacity to automatically alter our actions to attract the interest of the opposite sex is an instinctive trait, believe it or not, and quite an important aspect of human interaction. Most men and women indulge in harmless flirting no matter what age they are at. Flirting is, after all, a great ego booster. Knowing that you have what it takes to engage the interest of the opposite sex is definitely a quality that most would love to possess. Making use of it or not is a different issue all together, but knowing that you can flirt and can use it whenever you need to, is definitely ‘high-inducing’.
Flirting is most definitely an art. Whether used as an ego boost, to earn a date, or as a blatant excuse to get one’s work done, is, however, not simply there for the taking. While we all have the instinct to flirt, that instinct needs to be polished and made perfect. And that is exactly what this piece hopes to do — give you ladies tips on how to flirt, and how to master that art to perfection.
General Flirting Tips for Girls
Ever wondered why your classmate/colleague with average looks manages to grab the attention of all the guys around, while you hardly receive any glances despite your gorgeous looks? It could be the flirting skills she possesses, girls. It could be. What say we get you some of those?
A lot of women who complain of their single status should ask themselves whether they go out often enough to simply socialize. Socializing is good for you. Not only does it raise your chances of getting a date, but it also improves your social skills. And that, ladies, is a must when it comes to flirting. If you’re the kind who chooses to stay indoors, slouching on the sofa, watching a rom-com, then your chances of getting a date, and learning to flirt become potentially zero. Unless you go out and harness the skills of interaction and thereby flirting, you are not going to get any good at it. So, for starters, go out with your friends to clubs, movies, and other places where your chances of meeting guys and interacting with them increase.
We don’t mean provocatively, no. We mean putting an effort into dressing up. Dressing well can give you a great deal of confidence and a much-needed ego boost. When you know you’re looking good, it helps to give you the confidence to approach someone and talk to them. If you’re constantly worrying about your appearance, that’s your flirting skills down the drain right there. Dressing well will be enhanced further if you are physically fit. Just saying. And something that always works as a great jump start for that confidence? A makeover in the wardrobe department or a new haircut. Try it for yourself.
It takes some kind of overly confident, extraordinary man to approach a woman while she is surrounded by a gaggle of her best buds. Getting turned down by one woman, still OK; getting turned down by a girl while her entire group watches you — a big no-no. That’s how a guy will think. Think about it, wouldn’t you be more comfortable approaching a guy who was all by himself rather than with a group of guys? So do him a favor and try to have some solo moments at the place you’re at. We are not saying don’t go with your friends, but make sure that you’re left alone nursing a drink or dancing ample times through the night.
It’s the 21st century girls, learn to make that move if you’re so inclined to a particular guy. And you know what? Girls really don’t have to try that hard. A slight display of interest is all it takes and more often than not a guy will approach you. How does one make that happen? Smile. A lot. Make eye contact. And if you’re bold enough to deliver and carry off pick up lines, do it. Of course, make those lines more witty than creepy (Is it hot in here or is it just you? Get away from the bar, you’re melting all the ice. Is it tiring being this hot?), for example. Sometimes, all it takes is a nice line delivered with a smile and you’ll have all his attention. Or you could go with a genuine compliment. Something on the lines of complimenting his dance moves or his dressing style. Break that ice and get into the game.
The right body language goes a long way in aiding the game of flirting. Like we mentioned before, you flash a great smile, and you’re golden. Men simply cannot resist a woman with a great smile. Plus it makes you extremely approachable instead of being seen as closed and uptight. The other thing that you need to keep in mind is the importance of maintaining great eye contact. Repeated, lingering eye contact can send the message across effectively. Look at the guy you want to be talking to, hold his gaze for 3-4 seconds then look away and look back at him again. Other actions like taking your hands through your hair, touching your neck with your hand or having a slight hint of a smile on your lips are all taken as positive signs when it comes to the flirting body language.
So you approach a guy, or a guy approaches you and then … scores and scores of pregnant pauses. There is always the risk of first time conversations being laden with these and it happens because you know nothing about the other person. The way to deal with this? Prepare beforehand. Make a list of topics that you can start off with. Be well aware of the current trends, speak about the latest films, books or music and slowly steer the conversation to where you want it to be. Once you’re past the initial awkwardness, the situation will be quite under control and you’ll be able to take it from there.
You’re flirting with someone not with the intention of getting into something serious right away — you’re instead having a little fun and indulging in some harmless repartee. And there’s nothing quite like the double meaning sentences and the witty comebacks to get a flirting conversation rolling. Try it and see. Don’t answer the direct and expected answers, instead, play a little with the words and twist them to mean something more than the innocent. The trick though is to say the not-so-innocent with all the innocence. That, that will do more for him than anything else ever will. What could be more devilishly feminine?
One important lesson that you need to learn when it comes to flirting? You need to read between the lines. Say you’ve been having a conversation with this guy and it’s going really well. Y’all are both enjoying yourselves and then he starts throwing hints — hints like — I have passes for the game on Sunday, want to join me? Or the really creepy ones, (the one night stands special) ‘I make a great cup of coffee in the morn. Try for yourself. That’s when you’ll know whether he’s genuinely interested or he’s looking for some easy game, as they say. And depending on what you’re looking for, you can take the call.
Also Keep in Mind
A piece of unsolicited advice though, do not use these tips to lead some poor guy on. Just as you would want to know what a guy’s intentions are and would not want to be toyed along, similarly, a guy deserves to know the same from you as well. If your intention is to only indulge in some harmless flirting and have no interest in taking things to the next level, make sure you make your intentions clear through words or your body language. You certainly do not want the guy to fall for you and then create a big emotional mess. On the other hand, some guy may misconstrue your actions, which may lead to uncomfortable situations. Hence, choose your words carefully, so that you do not come across as being sleazy or clingy.
When it comes to flirting, the whole package counts — the way you talk, your body language, what you say, how you say it, the eye contact you make, and the like. Look at it this way — once the tricks are mastered, the whole world is your playground.