Justified reasons apart, there are some pretty perplexing lines that people come up with when they are too chicken to be frank enough about the real deal. Such people mistakenly assume that they are trying to shield their better half by cushioning the blow, but the lameness of their excuse simply lets their idiocy shine through.
So, here’s some hilarious banter that’s often heard from couples en route destination Splitsville…
Well, of course, you’re not! You are the chalk to my cheese. You are the burger to my caviar. You are the Banana Republic to my Hermès. You are the Coke to my Perrier-Jouët champagne. You are the Chevy Spark to my Lamborghini Veneno. Now, get off my face before my kindness runs out!
✿ My pet tarantula doesn’t think of you as my potential life partner.
✿ If only you belonged to a different religion…!
✿ You’re just not the Princess Leia to my Han Solo.
✿ Thank you for making me realize that I’m gay.
✿ I’d really like to focus on my lack of a career right now.
✿ I’m married.
✿ You’ve changed a lot since the first time we met.
✿ You’re just the same since the first time we met.
✿ I really can’t hold my urge to cheat anymore.
✿ Our romance is beginning to feel more and more like a bromance.
✿ My democrat pet goldfish finds your pet cat too republican for us to stay together.