Okay! So you meet someone, really like him or her, and want to spend more time together. You think that he or she is someone you really see yourself committing to, with a serious relationship seeming just right around the corner.
This is how most people start dating. However, before taking things ahead, it is essential to realize that two different individuals will have their own set of opinions and qualities. Sure, there are going to be arguments and discussions, but this is natural in relationships.
An important thing to remember before entering in a serious relationship is imbibing the quality of empathy in yourself first. Settling any issue would be easy if you start respecting your partner’s opinions. Just you feeling strongly about something does not make you right and him or her wrong. There are always two sides of a coin, and if you really want to make your relationship work, you need to avoid common mistakes that can destroy it.
In the next section, you will come across certain shortcomings that have been held responsible for ending most relationships. Identify them, understand them, accept them, and hopefully living together would be as fun as they show it in the movies.
Bottling up Emotions
Members of both sexes face this problem. There are certain things about your partner that you certainly don’t appreciate, and do want to change. You want to talk about it and clear your mind, but instead of solving the problem, you hold it in. This may act as a temporary solution, but this isn’t a passing phase, and might prove quite unhealthy in the long-run. Such bottling up of emotions can increase negativity, frustration, distance, and create problems between the two of you.
Taking for Granted
This is something that most individuals do when they have been together for some time. Sure, for your spouse, you are always perfect, but he or she definitely cares about the way you look. What happened to that gorgeous woman? Or where did that handsome guy suddenly vanish? Remember, just because you are finally with the one you desire, you can’t become lax about your appearance and habits. Putting in the effort to present yourself better is an investment likely to give the best returns.
If you are still hung up on your ex, then it isn’t healthy to rush into a new relationship, as it can have devastating consequences. Many times, just to make their ‘ex’ jealous, people try to appear extremely confident and happy with their new squeeze. First of all, never enter a relationship just to show-off in front of your ex. In time, you will start comparing your present with the past, resulting in a pretty nasty situation.
One of the most common mistakes that ends a relationship is not listening to the other person. We all believe ourselves to be good listeners, but watching TV, playing with your phone, checking email, or even thinking of something else while the other person is talking is termed as not listening. When you don’t pay attention to what the other person is saying, it disrupts the bond between you two, causing a communication gap that drifts you apart.
Idealizing your relationship, life, and partner is a sure shot way to ruin your relationship. You start imagining your partner in a new avatar, but that isn’t reality. Gradually you come to terms with the truth, but feel dissatisfied and start blaming yourself or your partner. Remember this, there is always scope for improvement in a relationship, and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect partner.
This point is essential for both men and women. Betrayal can never be tolerated, be it emotional or physical. Once the deed has been done, your relationship is never going to be the same again. Gaining your spouse’s trust again can be extremely difficult, so think twice before crossing the line.
Being Extra Nice
Avoid dressing up in gorgeous lingerie or buying her expensive items frequently. It is really nice that you want to make your spouse feel special, but these frequent surprises will just look like you are trying too hard to impress. Your spouse might feel bad, and start looking out for ways to compensate for these special treats. It is great if you do nice things for each other from time to time, but don’t escalate into a panic mode and start doing it every day.
It is normal for individuals to get into a defensive mode when questioned or criticized by their spouse. They also try to justify their behavior and mistakes, instead of admitting to their wrongdoing. Also, constant expectations and complaints make matters worse, and can permanently damage your relationship. In a happy and content relationship, mistakes are accepted on both sides, and serious efforts are taken to make amends.
Mental or Physical Abuse
There is no place for abuse in love. Be it mental or physical abuse, it is wrong, and quite unhealthy for both. There are many cases where abuse has often been mistaken for genuine concern or possessiveness. It may seem like your partner really cares, but any signs of over-possessiveness, excessive jealousy, and a controlling attitude are not indicative of genuine affection. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect, love, and commitment.
Lack of Intimacy
Not surprisingly, lack of intimacy has caused many relationships to end. Whether physical or emotional, intimacy is extremely essential for any relationship to flourish. Also remember that you need to have a perfect mixture of physical and emotional intimacy. This can’t be expressed in just plain words; you need to put in feelings and that extra dose of love to make it special. It is intimacy which acts as a foundation through tough times and helps you realize the value of love and togetherness.
Relationships require commitment and are fragile in nature. Every couple goes through difficult times, but that does not mean they should split up. Just try to avoid these common errors of judgment and you’ll be fine.